so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I AM VODKA MAN
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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