Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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