Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize