oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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