I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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