It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm really busy with my period
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