spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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