in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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