does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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