DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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