i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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