I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The air taste purple.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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