Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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