So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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