So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize