We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize