so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your penis caused this!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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