he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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