I didn't shave. On purpose
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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