i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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