i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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