How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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