By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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