I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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