You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize