Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize