i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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