I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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