I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize