come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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