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At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
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