She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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