Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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