His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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