Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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