We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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