we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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