fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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