I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize