I just saw a hot homeless man
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize