I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize