we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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