Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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