Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize