i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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