hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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