Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize