i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The power of my boobs compel you
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