I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
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I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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