Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
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is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
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I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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