some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize